


Finis Vitae Sed Non Amoris - “The End of Life, But Not of Love”

by PenguinSam



Category: Glee
Genre: Blam, Blam Prompt, Bromance, Bromance to Romance, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 00:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5227529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PenguinSam/pseuds/PenguinSam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story inspired by Loki Firefox's Blam Prompts: Latin Phrases “F” </p><p>It's a week before the Mayan Apocalypse and Sam and Blaine are hanging out one last time before it all ends. Secrets are exposed and long-held holiday traditions are tested.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finis Vitae Sed Non Amoris - “The End of Life, But Not of Love”

_AU in which Sam and Brittany were never together or broke up before the Mayan Apocalypse._

_~*~_

 

It wasn’t easy for Blaine to be in the Hudmel house after what had happened with Kurt, no matter how welcoming Carole and Burt were, or how much they said they still liked having him around. If he were a parent in the same situation, he wouldn’t be so cool with his kid’s ex hanging around his house like that. But, he wasn’t there for Kurt, he was there for his best bro who was flipping out because he thought the world was ending in a week.  Sam wanted to spend his last moments with the people he cared about most and Blaine had somehow made that list. He wasn’t going to say no to a night of geeking out about comic books and video games, even if the reason for it was a little silly.

“This sucks, dude,” Sam whined as he rifled through the kitchen cabinets, “We don’t have any more popcorn! How can we slaughter the enemy without snacks?”

“Don’t worry about it, Sam. It gets stuck in your teeth anyway. We can’t have any distractions while we’re at war.”

“Excellent point, Nightbird,” he cracked open a can he had pulled from the fridge and took a swig of the beverage.

“Pop? Really?” Blaine raised his eyebrows in confusion, “I thought you didn’t drink that stuff.”

“Next Thursday it’s all over, man. I’ve got to enjoy the small stuff now.”

Blaine leaned against the doorframe and sighed, “You don’t have to wait for an apocalypse to enjoy the small stuff, Sam. Your body is perfect. You work out like three hours a day; drinking a pop every now and then isn’t going to hurt you.”

Sam flashed him a wicked grin, “My body is perfect, huh?”

Blaine felt the blush spread across his cheeks but tried to sidestep the question, “Like I said, three hours a day. You’re fine. Relax.” Sam’s eyebrows lifted in amusement and he shook his head before taking another sip of his drink. “What?” Blaine asked indignantly.

Sam shrugged, feigning innocence. “I don’t know why you’re trying to hide the fact that you’re totally into me.”

Blaine stared at Sam, at a complete loss for words. He swallowed hard as his chest constricted and his stomach twisted into a knot tighter than the bowties he wore on occasion. How had Sam known that? He thought he had been hiding his little crush fairly well. After all, it had only been a couple of weeks since Sam stopped him from running away to Dalton. Not to mention Blaine still talked about Kurt all the time. Apparently, he talked about his ex so much Sam had fitted his Blond Chameleon uniform with a handkerchief to whip out when Blaine would get teary about the circumstances surrounding his break up. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The corner of Sam’s mouth slowly curled upwards in a knowing smile and he put his drink down on the small kitchen island, “Uh-huh.” He folded his arms over his chest loosely as he made himself comfortable leaning against the counter across from Blaine. “You see, most people don’t just stand in the doorway, they actually come into the room. But you haven’t moved from that particular spot, and I know why.”

Blaine frowned, really not understanding where Sam was going with this, “Because I don’t think I should walk around Kurt’s house like I own the place?” He questioned slowly, narrowing his eyes.

Sam shook his head, “No, dude. Seriously, you suck at covert ops. This is why I always kick your butt when we play video games.”

“Covert ops?”

Sam pointed above Blaine’s head without taking his perceptive eyes off of his friend’s face. Blaine tore his gaze away from the ocean-colored eyes that bore into his soul and glanced up. His stomach dropped when he saw the mistletoe hanging ominously above his head. He looked back at Sam, blush returning in full force, “I had no idea that was there, Sam. I swear I wasn’t trying to sneak attack you or something.”

Sam shrugged, “It’s cool if you were. We only have a week to live, right?”

Blaine closed his eyes, furrowing his brow and shaking his head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know, you have to live life to the fullest. Go after what you want.”

“And you think I want you.”

“Don’t you?”

Blaine fixed his gaze at the floor, there was no way he would admit Sam’s hunch was right. Their friendship was so easy and natural and he wasn’t going to ruin it over ridiculous feelings that were probably just temporary anyway. “No, of course not.” He made sure to catch Sam’s eyes so his friend would know he was serious, “You’re my best friend, Sam.”

Sam shook his head in obvious confusion, “That doesn’t really mean anything.”

 _Didn’t mean anything?_ Blaine felt like his heart was being squeezed in a vice; Sam didn’t think their friendship meant anything? How could that be when it meant _everything_ to him? His sadness must have been written across his face, because Sam reached out to him immediately, “No! Not that!” he said quickly, grasping Blaine’s shoulders steadily. “I mean people sometimes have feelings for friends. Not that you don’t mean anything to me. You mean a lot to me. Bros for life, remember?”

Blaine nodded, feeling relieved and thankful, but he didn’t want to speak for fear his voice would betray him. God bless Sam who knew him so well he didn’t have to say anything at all.   “See, I knew you liked me,” Sam said with a slightly mischievous twinkle in his eye.

Blaine closed his eyes, unwilling to look at his friend’s sweet face. He felt so much shame for the crush he was harboring for Sam. He and Kurt hadn’t been broken up for long and he knew the break up was his own fault. What kind of person cheats on the person they’re supposed to love? And now, instead of pining for his first boyfriend like he should, he was falling for his not-even-remotely-bi-curious best friend. It was one thing to joke back and forth about Blaine having a crush on Sam, but this had become more serious than their usual banter. If Sam knew his instincts were right, he would be completely horrified and Blaine couldn’t afford to lose his friendship. Not after everything else he had recently lost. He wasn’t strong enough for that. But still, he wondered… “What if I _did_ like you, Sam?

Sam’s strong hands tightened on his shoulders, “Then I would be super flattered,” Blaine didn’t dare open his eyes but he could hear the smile in Sam’s voice. “I mean you’re Blaine Anderson: Alpha Gay. That’s what Kurt called you, right? You could have anybody and yet you choose to like _me_? That’s pretty cool.”

Blaine’s eyes flew open. Had he heard him correctly? “Wha-what? Is that really what you think?”

Sam raised his eyebrows again, “Yeah. Why? Is that weird?”

“Well, kind of. Most straight guys aren’t so comfortable when a gay guy has a crush on them. Look at Kurt and Finn.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Finn’s my boy, and Kurt’s cool and all, but that was _way_ different. Kurt was really in Finn’s face about it and Finn is, like, way insecure. It wasn’t a good situation. Not the way Burt tells it anyway.”

“Finn took it the way most straight guys would, Sam.”

Sam pursed his lips and tilted his head back and forth as if considering that statement, and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’ve never been so great at fitting into molds, so the term ‘most straight guys’ doesn’t really apply to me.”

Blaine couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face, “I guess not.”

The two boys stared at each other, neither saying a word. Sam’s eyes traveled up to the plant above their heads and then down to Blaine, “Christmas traditions are pretty important to me, but I know it’s a lot of pressure for you…. So, do you want to pretend like I didn’t see it?”

Blaine didn’t dare look up, “It might be better for our friendship if we act like mistletoe doesn’t exist.”

Sam nodded but wrinkled his nose, “Too bad. I really miss kissing.”

“Me, too,” Blaine admitted without thinking. “But after what I did to Kurt, I don’t deserve to kiss anyone ever again.”

Sam groaned, “Look, I’m here for you, and I’m willing to listen to this stuff, but you really need to stop talking like that. Going to extremes isn’t going to help you get past what happened with you and Kurt… You seemed to be doing so great and now you’re back to the self-hate stuff. Why?”

Blaine ran a hand over his gel-coated hair, breaking a few curls free. “Kurt and I were supposed to get together over Christmas Break and he’s staying in New York. I don’t know if he forgot or if he changed his mind… but it’s not happening.”

“So? Go there.”

“I don’t want to go there only to find out that Kurt hates me. I’d rather stay here-”

“And mope and treat yourself like you’re Anakin after he slaughtered those younglings?”

“Well… Padme wasn’t exactly thrilled with him after that.”

Blaine could tell Sam was having a hard time keeping a straight face. His eyes had lit up when he had responded with goofy Star Wars banter. He finally cracked when Blaine gave him his best Grumpy-Cat face. Sam punched his shoulder affectionately, “See, dude. You’re awesome. You just need to stop focusing on the bad stuff.”

“Especially since the world is ending.”

“Yes, exactly.”

Blaine sighed and tilted his head back, letting out a long sigh. It was wonderful that Sam cast him in such a good light, but it wasn’t easy to let go of the poor choice he had made. If the world really _were_ ending, he’d have a lot to answer for. _According to most people I’m going to Hell for kissing boys anyway,_ he thought.

“You’re not going to Hell, Blaine,” Sam said, rolling his eyes dramatically.

“Did I say that out loud?” Blaine yelped. Had he turned into Brittany without knowing it? The inner monologue was supposed to stay _inside_ his head.

“Um… yeah?” Sam said, looking concerned, “Are you having a stroke or something, dude?”

“N-no… I was just thinking even if I did forgive myself for what I did, people are going to tell me I’m going to Hell anyway because I’m gay. I’m kind of screwed no matter what.”

Sam smiled at his friend, “You know, my pastor once said that if your heaven isn’t complete without someone, then it isn’t really heaven, is it? Well, my heaven wouldn’t be complete without you. And I know I’m in because I’m part of the God Squad and all that.”

Blaine was touched. That was the sweetest thing anyone had said to him in a really long time. “Sam, I don’t know what to say.”

Sam pursed his lips as if deep in thought, “You can say you’re going to kiss me under the mistletoe.”

Blaine rolled his eyes, “I thought we agreed to pretend you never saw it.”

“Well, that was before I saved you from the Hell Hounds.”

“Sam…” Blaine said with a sigh, “I know you think the world is ending, but what if it doesn’t? Did you think about that? If you wake up on the twenty-second and the Earth is still here, I don’t want to be on your list of regrets.”

Sam frowned at him, “Remember when we stole our trophy back from Dalton? I showed you you’re one of the good guys, man. You’re not just one of them; you are _the_ good guy. No one _ever_ regrets kissing the hero of a story.”

Heaving a sigh, Blaine leaned against the doorframe again, “I wish I could see through your rose-colored glasses, Sam.” He closed his eyes, “I’m nobody’s hero.”

Sam didn’t say anything in response; Blaine wasn’t sure if it was because he had nothing to say, or if it was because he was tired of trying to be encouraging. Either way, he knew he had blown their chance of having a fun, lighthearted evening.

“I think you’re pretty heroic,” Sam’s voice was quiet. “You left a school where you were safe and popular to come here for Kurt. You knew the kind of bullying that happens at McKinley and you came anyway because you’re stronger than that.”

“That’s not heroic so much as me being stupid and romantic.”

“Whatever. Sometimes heroic stuff is stupid and romantic.”

Blaine rolled his eyes, even though he knew Sam was right. Sam groaned, “Why won’t you just _kiss_ me? You would if it were Tina standing in my place.”

“I wouldn’t kiss Tina!”

“You would, too. She would call you ‘Boo’ and make goo-goo eyes at you and you would do it.”

Blaine tried to hide his smile; Sam was probably right. Things just seemed less complicated with Tina. Probably because there were no romantic feelings there, at least not on _his_ end, anyway. It was also why Sam was probably still pushing this whole kissing thing, as there were surely no romantic feelings on _his_ end either. It was just a simple tradition that Blaine was refusing to give in to. “Call Tina, then. She’d be glad to kiss you in my place.”

Sam’s face twisted in disgust, “I don’t want to kiss Tina.”

“Oh, but you want to kiss _me_?”

“Well, yeah.” Sam said, frowning again, “Kissing _you_ will be _way_ better than when I’ve done stuff with guys before.”

Blaine nearly toppled over from shock at Sam’s admission, “I’m sorry, **_what_**?  You’ve done things with guys before?”

“Oh come on,” Sam said in a pouty voice, “You’ve done stuff with girls. Why is it so shocking I’ve done stuff with guys?”

“I haven’t ‘ _done’_ anything! I kissed Rachel when I was drunk during spin the bottle. What’s _your_ excuse?”

Sam’s eyes darkened; the frivolity from before vanishing instantly at Blaine’s words. Blaine had only seen that look once before. He wished he could take back his last question, but it was too late for that. Sam eyes held a steady gaze on Blaine’s who couldn’t help but wince at the look of dejection in his best friends eyes. It only lasted a moment before Sam closed his eyes tightly, scrunching up his entire face in obvious shame before bowing his head, “I was for sale, remember?”

Blaine felt as though Sam hadpunched him in the gut. Hearing his own words grace Sam’s lips was a thousand times worse than hearing them in his head. It had been over a year since their blowup in Glee club, but the horrible things he said to his best friend still haunted him. Apparently Sam had been hanging onto them as well, “Guys paid more,” he finished quietly.

Blaine was about to reach out to Sam but stopped himself, not really knowing what to do. It was devastating to find out what he had said to Sam had impacted him that much, “I’m _so_ sorry. When I said that, I was being an asshole. I was angry with Finn and you were just an easy target. I didn’t mean it. I know everything you did, you did for your family.”

Sam waved him off like he was an annoying fly. “Whatever, dude, it’s fine. You asked me what my excuse was and that’s it.”

The two stood in silence in the doorframe, neither knowing what to say. The mistletoe loomed above their heads like the sword of Damocles. During most of their friendship thus far, Sam had been a rock for Blaine to lean on, someone who knew all his deep dark secrets. It wasn’t until now that Blaine realized Sam hadn’t really ever told him much about his own demons. He knew Sam had been homeless, suffered from Dyslexia, and had been a stripper. However, most of those things he had learned through the grapevine, not from Sam himself. He watched the blond boy who had his hands shoved into his pockets, and was looking at the floor glumly, wanting nothing more than to cheer him up and make him smile again.

Blaine stretched his foot out to touch Sam’s ankle with his sock-covered toe, “Pause,” he said with a small smile, knowing Sam would get the _How I Met Your Mother_ reference.

 “That’s not fair,” Sam said, still pouting, “You totally killed my good mood and acting all innocent and charming now isn’t going to fix it. This might be our last night to hang out together. Not to mention it might be the last time we get to follow through with any Christmas traditions and you went and ruined it.”

 “Okay, fine,” Blaine said, lifting his chin like he was about to take a punch. “One quick kiss and then we go play video games, does _that_ seem fair?”

Sam’s face lit up, “Totally fair!”

Blaine inhaled deeply andsquared his shoulders in preparation. He was ready for this. He could handle it, right? It was _just_ a kiss. A kiss with a guy whom he cared about a lot, literally made his knees weak, and made him laugh when all he wanted to do was cry... Sam placed one hand on Blaine’s waist and the other on his neck. Blaine’s skin tingled under Sam’s fingertips, and he wondered if his friend could hear his heart thundering. _Damn, I **can’t** do this._

But it was too late to back out now. Blaine opened his mouth to take a shaky breath and Sam seized the moment, sealing his lips against Blaine’s in an intense kiss. Any insecurity and nervousness Blaine had been feeling left his body the instant Sam’s lips made contact with his. All he could think of or feel was Sam. He tasted exactly how Blaine had imagined he would, like cherry lip balm and ginger ale - unequivocally “Sam”. His mouth moved against Blaine’s with purpose; his large lips were soft, but also firm and commanding.

Blaine’s body melted into his friend as their lips danced together, his mind reeling at the myriad of sensations he was feeling. He wrestled with himself for a few seconds, simply letting Sam’s lips skim across his as he wondered if he should kiss him back with as much enthusiasm. What if Sam was right and the world _was_ ending? This would be his only chance.

Without further hesitation, Blaine grabbed the front of Sam’s shirt and pulled him closer, drawing his plump bottom lip into his mouth, tentatively tasting Sam’s skin with his tongue. Sam hummed blissfully and his fingers curled into the back of Blaine’s neck, playing with his hair as his thumb traced patterns against his jawline. _God, his hands are huge…_ Blaine moaned and Sam took advantage of his open mouth to slide his tongue against Blaine’s eagerly. Fireworks exploded behind Blaine’s eyes at the all-too-brief but amazing feeling as Sam withdrew quickly, whispering breathlessly against Blaine’s lips, “Mmm… you taste good…”

“I-I had tea earlier…” Blaine stammered stupidly, not knowing how to respond to that statement.

Sam shook his head, his nose bumping against Blaine’s, “No… s’not it,” he said, sounding almost intoxicated.

“Maybe-“

“Stop talking.” His mouth crashed against Blaine’s again, all caution cast aside. Blaine threaded his fingers through Sam’s hair as Sam hungrily opened Blaine’s mouth with his own. Blaine tightened his grip in Sam’s hair while greedily thrusting his tongue into Sam’s mouth to savor more of his essence.

When Blaine paused in order to take a breath, Sam’s lips were suddenly on his neck, licking and sucking the sensitive skin there. “Sam…” Blaine whimpered. His head was spinning, what had happened to a quick kiss under the mistletoe? The only “quick” part of it was that they were both _quickly_ losing control. Blaine pulled away from Sam, gently nudging his shoulders so he would stop what he was doing. “You’re going to kill me if you keep that up.”

Sam blushed, “Sorry… I got a little carried away.”

“A little?” Blaine let out a breathless laugh; “I’m going to have to wear a scarf for a week!”

“I didn’t hear you complaining.”

Blaine faltered as he tried to think of a comeback, “Well, since you’re such an upstanding member of the God squad and went so far as to rescue me from eternal damnation today, it’s not polite to complain.” Blaine flashed him what he hoped was a cheeky smile.

Sam didn’t miss a beat, “Yeah, I’m sure that’s _exactly_ why you shoved your tongue down my throat.”

It was Blaine’s turn to blush. Sam gave him an appreciative smile, but looked somewhat bewildered. Blaine’s stomach clenched with worry, “You okay?”

“Y-yeah… it’sjust…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not sure. I thought kissing you would be good, but… I didn’t think it would be incredible.”

 _Incredible?_ So, Sam _had_ enjoyed it. Blaine bit his lip, “Is that a bad thing?”

“No!” Sam shook his head vigorously, eyes glued to Blaine’s mouth, “No, not at all… Just… _confusing._ ”

Blaine patted his friend’s chest and tried to steer Sam’s mind away from the confusion he was feeling, “How about we go downstairs and finish our game? No use worrying about _stuff_ … the world _is_ ending next week anyway, right?”  

Sam nodded in agreement but didn’t move, “You know, I’ve been feeling so energized these past few days because of this whole Mayan Apocalypse thing. The end of the world didn’t seem like such a big deal.”

“And what about now?” Blaine asked, unable to stop his brows from knitting together.

“Now… There’s _so_ much I want to-” Sam faltered and looked at Blaine sheepishly, “I just don’t want it to be over yet.”

Blaine sensed Sam wasn’t just talking about the fate of the planet anymore, but he wasn’t sure. “And what if it’s not?” He asked, trying to keep the trepidation out of his voice.

The brightness returned all-at-once to Sam’s eyes as he grinned, filling Blaine with hope,  “Well...” He licked his kiss-swollen lips before continuing, “Then maybe you don’t hide those hickies with a scarf.”

Blaine shook his head in confusion, what was Sam getting at? “How would I explain that to people?”

Sam shrugged, as if it were nothing, "Just tell people you’re mine?"

Blaine bit his lip and looked at Sam, wording his next question carefully, “And what does that make _you_ to me?"

Sam stared back at Blaine for a long time, eyes questioning. Wondering. His voice was low and quiet when he answered. "Yours."


End file.
